I can't put my feelings into words. Friday (to days prior to the baptismal date) we came to the realization that Sean is in no way ready for baptism. I was taken back to that old saying "you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make him drink." He's not showing the commitment level one should, we aren't seeing the fruits of repentance. It's a horrible feeling when you are prompted to cancel a baptism. We received permission to teach Sean, even though he is outside of our ward (story for another time), so we are sending him to those missionaries with hope that they might be able to help him commit.
When you pray to understand the Will of the Father, sometimes you don't always get what you expect, but you have to follow it. We are dropping all of our investigators. They aren't progressing. It reminded me of a time in Hanover where we did the same thing. We dropped, then we found those who were truly ready. Out of faith we drop, and with faith we find. Onward Christian Soldiers!
If you want to know what's in my mind, continue reading:
I'm trying to be humble, but I know that I'm not. I realize that I could be leaving soon (2 weeks) and the new sister could be walking into an area that was just the way I came into it. I think that's one of the hardest things I'm facing in my mind is knowing I could leave this area like that. I have put everything into it while I've been here, and the Lord has used me as His tool, I know that. I have hope because I know the Lord woks by SMALL AND SIMPLE MEANS to accomplish His great and eternal purposes. I'm constantly reminding myself of page 10 in Preach My Gospel. By those standards, I know that I am doing the right thing. It's a process of repentance: you must fill your mind with positive, faith-filled thoughts to replace the self destructing ones. Satan knows that if I feel this way, Heavenly Father won't be able to work through me as well. In regards to being humble, it's just knowing that the Lord needed me here for different reasons than I planned on, and that is OK!
Anyways, carrying on!
We've been working with two less actives specifically: JoAnne, and Sister Oulette, BOTH are going to the temple this summer!! Sister Oulette shocked us! We were correlating with Bishop when he told us he had just met with Sister Oulette and that he was going to put her through the accelerated temple prep class to get her into the temple! JoAnne is planning on going in July! If I get transferred, hopefully it's not too far so I can GO WITH BOTH OF THEM THROUGH THE TEMPLE!!
"Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done."
- C.S. Lewis
"Sincere praying implies that when we ask for any blessing or virtue we should work for the blessing and cultivate the virtue."
- David O. McKay
Those are two of the quotes we memorized this week, thought y'all would enjoy them!
It's green now:)
Excerpt from my studies.
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