CLAMS - July 21, 2014

New England - it's like stepping back in time 40-50 years. The people aren't progressive, they don't like change. They live off the land and are so content with what they have. They are honest. VERY HONEST, to themselves and others. They can talk for hours, days, weeks... I love it.

2 Nephi 21:1-3. I sat pondering these verses, striving to understand them on a deeper level. It opened up the avenue for the Spirit to teach me. I sat there and thought about Judgement. it hit me that I will never know gratitude until I stand before God, in all His glory, and receive mercy from the Savior. We are all pleading for that same mercy. We will have all knowledge (vs 9) of all our imperfections, and our strengths. With confidence we can trust that the Lord will fulfill His part in our covenants (we can trust because He is unchanging). I felt my faith build upon a stronger foundation. I am grateful. I will always be just that, grateful. I have such a long ways to go before I can better understand who He is. We learn line upon line in the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon gives us a deeper understanding of WHO CHRIST IS. Read, and listen to the Spirit as it describes Him. I am humbled that He would give His missionaries the Spirit of prophecy and of revelation if they pray, fast, and do their best. It is the testimony of Christ that we carry on our missions.

We received a phone call from Ava's dad Friday night. He's been doing "research" through the reformed mormon church. He's baffled that a religion that is up with the times would restrict the Priesthood from women. He said we weren't allowed to teach Ava, and that she can make the choice when she is 18. My heart sank. Anti makes you feel AWFUL (the Spirit doesn't bear witness that it's true). The Spirit left in our conversation. I handed over the phone to Sister Westling, fearing I would blow up without the Spirit. She testified to him and we got off the phone. We went over to Ali's and told her and Ava that she'd have to wait until she was 18. Tears poured down our faces as we were humbled that this isn't in our time, it's in the Lord's. Patience until we understand why we must have patience. Later that night Ava cried out her testimony with passion. 

There is opposition in all things.

We had the BEST SERVICE opportunity I think I've had on my mission! Yarmouth holds an annual Clam Festival through the Chamber of Commerce. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE travel from EVERYWHERE to come to this tiny, New England coastal town to feast on CLAMS. We called the Chamber of Commerce and asked if us and the elders could volunteer. We went on Friday and Saturday for 8 hours total (our service limit). We talked with a ton of people, they were comfortable asking us questions. A lot of the people knew the branch members, especially the youth. We were asked to be Ambassadors to the clam mascot and follow him around and get pictures with people. They called us into the office. The guy who was in charge (he SHOWED that he was bothered by our presence from the beginning) asked that we pocket those things (pointing to our name tags). Without hesitance I replied "no." He gave us this face, and I will never forget the face... How I wish I could be more like the Savior and hold meekness in the midst of trial. He said nothing, and thought nothing negative of the people crucifying Him. He understood them and who they were. He had such mercy on them. I learned in that moment to be more like the Savior. We walked away. I wish I could better describe the situation, there's just no way to! 

Chuck is the typical New England farmer. He progressed pretty well about a year ago and has remained stagnant ever since my MTC companion left this area. This week he FINISHED THE BOOK OF MORMON AND CAME TO CHURCH WITH HIS FAMILY!!! His wife is a member, and his grandson was recently baptized, but quickly fell into less activity. We saw them all come to church. Chuck wants this, so badly. He has incredible faith and a testimony of the Book of Mormon. He is REPENTING. Naturally, the next step is baptism. He's praying for the first time on his own! 

We have Zone Conference tomorrow. We are training on faith in finding, setting return appointments, and having 15 minute lessons frequently throughout the week (the secret to progressing investigators).

Most of our efforts are going to the branch members, and we have a bunch of miracles in the workings. They all share with us the people they are working with. The goal is to get them with us. It's working!!! The Knightons text us one morning inviting us over for dinner with their friend Sydney. She sounds just like Kaitana (from Hanover). She has a TON of deep, good questions. She is thirsting for the word of the Lord. I can't wait to teach her!! It just goes to show that respect comes before friendship, especially on the mission. You can be friends with the members, but they have to be able to trust you. You can't just hang out... doesn't work like that.

I feel so bountifully blessed, so happy, so incredible... SO TIRED. I am exhausted from the inside out. I didn't realize it could get worse, it never gets better. I have learned the art of power napping during lunch and dinner.

".... So you can with confidence expect that He has prepared opportunities for you to learn in preparation for the service you will give. But when you put the spiritual things first in your life, you will be blessed to feel directed toward certain learning, and you will be motivated to work harder.

... But I can promise you that if you will go to Him in prayer and ask what He would have you do next, promising that you will put His kingdom first, He will answer your prayer and He will keep His promise to add upon your head blessings, enough and to spare. Those apparent prison walls of "not enough time" will begin to recede, even are you are called to do more.

The real life we are preparing for is eternal life. All we can learn that is true while we are in this life will rise with us in the Resurrection. And all that we can learn will enhance our capacity to serve."

 

(don't know who said that, sorry)

"We become who we think we are."

LOBSTER - July 14, 2014

Allison was baptized yesterday! That was INCREDIBLE! I feel like I hardly did anything, it was still stressful, but the mundane preparation for the baptism was taken over by the branch. We sat down to start the baptism, I looked back to see the WHOLE CHAPEL FILLED. the entire branch attended, along with all of Allie's friends and family. The branch jumped on her friends and family like hungry lions just waiting to share the Gospel. They have a deep love for missionary work, and an immediate love for anyone who walks in the building. IT IS REMARKABLE to see their enthusiasm and efforts lead to Allie's baptism.

Allie's just on fire. The Spirit was overflowing at her baptism. We had a lady come and sing and I could've sworn she was looking directly at God while she was singing. It was the most incredible music number I've ever heard. While she was changing the primary sang for us, incredible. The Spirit of music changes my life ALL THE TIME. It does something special to us.

The story with Allie: a year ago she literally walked into one of the members homes thinking it was an open house, turns out it was Sister Steuer's birthday party. They built a friendship through selling essential oils. One event lead to another, and she was taking lessons from the missionaries. She dropped them after some time and recently picked them up again. She has a BURNING testimony of the Book of Mormon and has found the peace she's been searching for. 

This morning at 5:45 am: we get a text from Allie telling us that her daughter Ava wants to be baptized. Her daughter is nine years old. She recognizes so clearly the difference the Gospel has brought her mother. We want so badly to baptize her, but we need both parents permission. It breaks my heart. I am praying earnestly for her dad's heart to be softened!! We expect a miracle to happen!!

Still on for two mystery baptisms on August 10th. We had a close call this last week. The elders in the neighboring ward are teaching a couple in the fringes of our boundaries with a baptismal date of August 10th. President Hawks, 2nd councilor in the Mission Presidency, wanted us to meet him. Anyone that goes to visit them drives through our ward. I have no idea what the heck is going to happen. Originally, it was our members that invited them to church. They were passed on to the other missionaries a little while ago. The Stake President is deciding which ward would be best for them. My honest opinion is to let them stay there with those missionaries. They have worked so hard to teach and baptize this couple! We'll see what happens.

August 10th is teasing my mind, it helps me work harder. I want it SO badly!

We had MLC last Tuesday and I was so impressed with the way that meeting run, it took me off guard. We took that format and brought it to our coordination with our branch mission leader. Never before have I had such an effective coordination! We prepared an agenda with the elders prior to our meeting. We are now starting a 40 day branch fast for the missionaries to teach two prepared families, a better way to record the family mission plans we've been committing families to, and instruction from President and Sister Stoker formatted like a 5th Sunday. We have a purpose for going and visiting members, we are there to follow up, to help them with their commitment to the family mission plan, and to be TOOLS for them. 

Trust from the members is coming. We are having MORE AND MORE people invite us over to their homes, they want to work WITH US. Many of the members are teaching people by themselves, they do incredible work!

So Friday we went to a lobster dinner... LITTLE DID I KNOW I AM ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH! A little after we ate my mouth felt funny. I pushed it aside. We got home and my gums and teeth were on FIRE, they were pulsing and swelling. It was horrible. I call one of the mouth surgeons in the ward and he told me to go get some meds and swish them around my mouth. I felt like Hitch when they race to the grocery store to grab some Benadryl! On the plus side, I didn't like lobster much. Straight from the ocean or in an airtight bag in the freezer, I'll pass from now on!

Anyone have anything they use to study the Isaiah chapters? I could use it.

"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." - C.S.Lewis

Breathing - July 7, 2014

Happy 4th: D&C 101:80

This is where I'll be the duration of my mission:

5 Farwell Ave. Apt. 2

Cumberland, ME. 04021

When I was a child I used to look at this part of the country (Maine) and wonder who would ever live up there. Little did I know that I would serve my mission in the most beautiful part of the country. YARMOUTH MAINE BRANCH: where the LLBean headquarters is (Freeport) and definitely one of the most affluent areas of the mission. The members do the less active contacting. They even fill the font up for baptisms. They allow us to focus all our efforts on MISSIONARY WORK. The trick will be coordinating our efforts, which takes trust and lots of patience.

I finally made it to the ocean.

I said it a long time ago, but nature praises God without saying a word. You just FEEL His presence when you're in the thick of it. A lifelong goal I have is to be like nature, and praise God as one of His greatest creations without saying a word. I want to make wherever I am holy. I feel power in consecrating my efforts to the Lord, this is His time, and His errand. Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven. We can praise Him through our actions as we sacrifice our will. Humbly, we serve Him without thought of our own selfish desires. When we think of ourselves less, our soul is enlarged. We feel ALIVE. Again, as I've said in previous emails, the realest of realities.

While reading 2 Nephi 9 this morning the Lord affirmed to me that the only protection we have is our own will. We are slaves when we give it away, ensnared in the adversaries chains. So clearly I understood the need for a redeemer. Like Nephi I echo, "oh how merciful is our God!"

This area is anodyne to my stressed soul. I can breathe. We wake up wicked early to go running; I feel refreshed. Not knowing the area has allowed me to step back and repair myself. I feel like I can move forward with all energy even though I hardly know the area. Sister Westling (the dry, heinously hilarious companion I've been waiting for my whole mission) has only been here for a transfer (and only has two transfers left), so we're learning it together. Neither of us have any idea where we are going (praise the GPS, what would I do without it). I can't wait until I know the branch better and the area. This branch is INCREDIBLE! We have a baptism this Sunday and the ward has enveloped Allie in LOVE.

ALLIE: She love essential oils, running, meditating, and pondering the Book of Mormon. She's intrenched in its words. She spends an hour every night meditating and praying. She's all about body, mind, and soul. She lives on the ocean. Oh how I LOVE HER!!!! She's the person I've always wanted to teach! Our whole branch is like this! We spent lunch Sunday with her and her longtime friend Jeff. We ended up teaching the Restoration and have plans to teach him again. He agreed to read and pray about the Book of Mormon, come to Allie's baptism and church, and meet with us again.

Every meal I've eaten has been straight out of someone's garden. I'm so happy and feel so good all the time! My energy has come back as I've allowed myself to breathe more. I honestly don't know how I made it alive out of Manchester, I ran (literally) around that city for 6 months with my head chopped off. Leaving Sister Collins was close to impossible. She's always on my mind, and I just pray that she's doing alright.

We've seen some miracles from the SMR lessons we've been teaching at doors and have RETURN APPOINTMENTS and NEW INVESTIGATORS that have accepted soft baptismal commitments (will you be baptized if you come to know this is true, more or less). There are so many places here that have never seen missionaries before, the area is so large, there's so much to do. The trick is to just TEACH. They say it in Preach My Gospel, whatever your approach, refer quickly and simply to the Restoration. It works... some of the time! So far people have been either REALLY NICE or EXTREMELY RUDE. There hasn't been a middle ground.

The Lord can't work through an already decided mind. So if you think they won't accept the Gospel when you talk with them, chances are they won't.

4th of July: We went downtown Freeport to the PARADE to get in contact with the public. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated by all the people. We talked to many. One of the boyscout leaders came up to us and asked us some questions about what we believe. He was polite, but declined a return appointment. We went to a family BBQ with a bunch of families from the branch, I felt like I was in Utah. I haven't seen that many children in one house on my mission. We spent the duration of the day weekly planning and going through the areabook.

At transfers I pointed to Sister Westling and told her I was going to be her final companion. I told everyone I was going to Yarmouth, I was certain that's where I was headed. Sure enough, I was called to Yarmouth to be with Sister Westling! She goes home in less than two transfers, then I have two transfers after that. The two sisters who were here previously both completed their missions (died) in this area.

​She always makes silly faces in our photos. I love her already. We spend 80% of our time laughing when we aren't teaching.

Moving On - June 30, 2014

It's time to move. All week I felt the familiar, freeing feeling I felt when leaving Hanover. It could be described as a relief, peace, serenity, accomplishment, but the overwhelming feeling I have is gratitude. Heavenly Father has opened channels of revelation to me, light has touched places of my soul I didn't know it could reach. I am WHOLE through the grace of the Lord. As I've given grace I've received it. As I've suffered, my ability to give mercy has increased tremendously. Last time I went to the temple I sat there and KNEW that the Lord was proud of me, that He knew all my efforts, and that they had not been wasted. As if the Lord was telling me Himself, yesterday I read:

"Of me thou hast not been ashamed.

These deeds shall thy memorial be;

Fear not, thou didst them unto me."

The Savior felt alone, He is the example for all of us, does that mean that in order to obtain perfection we must feel alone as well? When it talks about eternal happiness in the scriptures, doesn't that also mean we will know eternal torment? Opposition in all things. 2 Nephi 2.

So, what's happening with transfers? I am leaving and am called to be a Sister Training Leader. It's a calling similar to that of a zone leader, but of course, for sisters! I think of it as an "assigned friend" ha! I am excited to be able to go on exchanges weekly again. The first 5 transfers of my mission I was with a Sister Training Leader and got the other end. These past few transfers I've learned what an exchange can really do... it's like a breath of fresh air.

One thing I hate about transfers is leaving my companions. They become my BEST friends. Sister Collins and I are sisters. People, as different as we look, mistake us for sisters. I love it. I love her.

We had great service on Saturday, we sat outside the grocery store collecting milk for the NH Food Bank milk drive! You have to get the nametag out where people will see you. Every contact counts.

We received a bounty of referrals and are doing our best to contact them.

Most of the time we are chasing our potentials down trying to teach them.

We went out to the boonies of our area this week (Candia) and went tracting on the most gorgeous typical New England street. We saw a driveway tunneled in trees, unable to see if there was even a house up there. We decided to go exploring! As we walk up, all we hear are DOGS. TONS OF THEM. We knock on the door with some hesitancy. A lady opens it and they ALL COME FLOODING OUT OF THE DOOR and practically knock us over! We get talking with this woman who had questions from her previous investigation of our church in her college years. She asks where in the Bible a few things were that we believed... OF COURSE we left our bibles in the car (sometimes if I don't, I run the risk of bible bashing). The coolest thing happened, all of the scripture memorization I've done every day for the past 7 months came out of my mouth. I quoted all the scriptures she needed from memory! It was the coolest experience! She took a pamphlet and said she'd pray about it. Sister Collins is going to follow up with her later. 

​Thursday we came home for a late dinner when it started DUMPING rain. We kicked off our shoes and ran outside and were DRENCHED within seconds. I guess you could say the Lord really did pour out his blessings upon us!

Building on Rocks - June 23, 2014

Part of my LTP:

"We are in the Lord's vineyard. Sometimes we are called to pick fruit, other times we are called to have our branches pruned." I have realized that, though I may not be patient with it. A quote that summarizes what the Lord wants me to learn is found at the end of chapter 4 in PMG: “You cannot force spiritual things. Such words as compel, coerce, constrain, pressure, demand, do not describe our privileges with the Spirit. You can no more force the Spirit to respond than you can force a bean to sprout, or an egg to hatch before its time. You can create a climate to foster growth, nourish, and protect; but you cannot force or compel: you must await the growth.” I am exhausted. I am doing ALL I CAN to work mighty miracles in this area. Often times I feel like I've tried everything, I've done everything I know how in this here. I have GROWN here. I pray to the Lord with specific questions and listen, then I wonder after no answer, "where art thou?" Sister Collins read an article that was in response to my PLEADING prayers for the Lord to acknowledge my faith. In the August Ensign 2013 there's an article about what to do when there is no response: you consider it a trust, that the Lord trusts you enough to move forward into the darkness. I want the path to be illuminated before my face, but that's not the way faith works. Moroni tells us that we receive NO WITNESS UNTIL AFTER THE TRIAL OF OUR FAITH. I am learning and relearning that in way I couldn't ever imagine. We dropped all our investigators, they weren't "hearkening" I guess you could call it. We are building this area on THE ROCK, and when you build on rocks, it takes a lot longer.

*words*

I don't think I've ever been more bold in my life. Having strong opinions can be difficult when people oppose them. You want to defend them and prove them to those persecuting you. WE MUST BE MEEK. People are so pleasant until you bring up religion, then they just drop you like a fragile glass vase. KEEP YOUR PIECES TOGETHER.

We fast for three baptisms on July 20th. We're working for them. We told Bishop to be ready, and to hold us accountable. We have to find those people who are ready, and the more people we talk to, the closer we get to finding them. So much of my struggle is just remembering where the Lord has been this whole time. I am slow to remember Him. I try not to compare experiences, but it's hard when I've seen the Lord just DROP prepared people in my lap and helped me so much! HE PRACTICALLY HELD MY HAND. He's really trusting me to just GO FOR IT. Heavenly Father and I have some interesting discussions about what His will is, vs. mine. *humble myself*

We did see a miracle from our efforts. Tolby. We tract into her. She is a mom to two little kids, in her early 30's, and married. That woman works like a DOG! She was busy, but we scheduled a time to come back. When we came back she pulled us into her home and showed us two pictures of Jesus (pass along cards) taped on the back of her door. Halfway through our conversation I said "maybe we're an answer to your prayers." She replied "yes" with glassy eyes. She discussed eagerly the Restoration with us. That was a spiritual lesson. One of the most feel-good lessons I've had. It was WONDERFUL. She's reading the Book of Mormon and praying to know. We stopped by again yesterday and had a prayer, she didn't have time for a lesson, but WANTED to pray with us. She's great. I am eager to teach a young family! Hopefully next time we meet we can lay down more of the expectations of our visits to have more solid contact. 

Something that's helped me throughout my mission is to write down blessings we see each day before we start planning for the next day. We sit down and come up with 3-5 blessings, or times when we've seen the Lord's hand. It's helped me keep a positive attitude.

9:30 comes and I feel like I've just completed a state swimming race or a half marathon. The only thing physical that we do is walk, yet I am more tired than I have ever been from anything I have ever done. I am not saying this to complain, but just to update you on how I feel. I feel EXHAUSTED on every end. I don't know how I keep going, honestly. I just do it. I have do. I want to. I do it because there is no better way to do it than the way we are asked, I know because I have seen others try to do it differently. It doesn't work when you aren't obedient. 

What else is new...

It's wicked hot.

Next week I might have a transfer call to talk more about. I'm trying not to stress out about it. It's a sad thing I don't like to think about.

Sean is officially passed over to the Bedford elders. He kept his commitment and biked ALL THE WAY TO CHURCH. I was so happy!

Atonement insight I was thinkin' about this week: why did Christ need to be the literal Son of God? Why did He need a mortal mother? The power He had from His Father was that He could will His own death. He had to choose when to die, how else could He have suffered the pains, sicknesses, temptations, and infirmities of the world?

The Book of Mormon is the patriarchal blessing of America. Yeah. Talk to me about it later. I'll give you the details then.

I challenge EACH OF YOU to share your testimony with someone who isn't a member this week. Just a simple declaration of what you believe. #doit

If anyone needs something to pray for, pray that the people in your area will have softer hearts so that YOU will be able to share the Gospel with them and help the missionaries in your ward.

Sorry, this week I'll try to get photos of something exciting ha! We just walk and talk, study, eat, sleep, repeat.

This was not using the zoom. Exciting stuff.

Refresh - June 16, 2014

I can't put my feelings into words. Friday (to days prior to the baptismal date) we came to the realization that Sean is in no way ready for baptism. I was taken back to that old saying "you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make him drink." He's not showing the commitment level one should, we aren't seeing the fruits of repentance. It's a horrible feeling when you are prompted to cancel a baptism. We received permission to teach Sean, even though he is outside of our ward (story for another time), so we are sending him to those missionaries with hope that they might be able to help him commit. 

When you pray to understand the Will of the Father, sometimes you don't always get what you expect, but you have to follow it. We are dropping all of our investigators. They aren't progressing. It reminded me of a time in Hanover where we did the same thing. We dropped, then we found those who were truly ready. Out of faith we drop, and with faith we find. Onward Christian Soldiers!

If you want to know what's in my mind, continue reading:

I'm trying to be humble, but I know that I'm not. I realize that I could be leaving soon (2 weeks) and the new sister could be walking into an area that was just the way I came into it. I think that's one of the hardest things I'm facing in my mind is knowing I could leave this area like that. I have put everything into it while I've been here, and the Lord has used me as His tool, I know that. I have hope because I know the Lord woks by SMALL AND SIMPLE MEANS to accomplish His great and eternal purposes. I'm constantly reminding myself of page 10 in Preach My Gospel. By those standards, I know that I am doing the right thing. It's a process of repentance: you must fill your mind with positive, faith-filled thoughts to replace the self destructing ones. Satan knows that if I feel this way, Heavenly Father won't be able to work through me as well. In regards to being humble, it's just knowing that the Lord needed me here for different reasons than I planned on, and that is OK!

Anyways, carrying on!

We've been working with two less actives specifically: JoAnne, and Sister Oulette, BOTH are going to the temple this summer!! Sister Oulette shocked us! We were correlating with Bishop when he told us he had just met with Sister Oulette and that he was going to put her through the accelerated temple prep class to get her into the temple! JoAnne is planning on going in July! If I get transferred, hopefully it's not too far so I can GO WITH BOTH OF THEM THROUGH THE TEMPLE!!

"Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done."

- C.S. Lewis

"Sincere praying implies that when we ask for any blessing or virtue we should work for the blessing and cultivate the virtue."

- David O. McKay

Those are two of the quotes we memorized this week, thought y'all would enjoy them!

It's green now:)

​Excerpt from my studies.

THE TRUTH... - June 9, 2014

I've been out for a year, that gives me six months left to have the authority to perceive the needs of every person around me, and to preach the Gospel by the Spirit as an authorized representative of the Savior. In one year I have recognized my true worth as Heavenly Father's DAUGHTER, and I know that this will only continue to grow. I see people differently, we are all family. I have taken in so much goodness, and am feeling that more than I ever have. Though I feel stressed, I am calm and peaceful because I know I am a servant to the Master in His vineyard and that He will use me to do His work. I can't go wrong when I am obedient and am doing the best I can do. From the inside of my soul I am filled with joy. The Spirit is with me. Regardless if anyone else feels the Spirit I feel, I am being guided by that power, and I will not change that.

I have never felt such a strong love for Joseph Smith as I did this week. We shared the first vision with just about EVERYONE we came in contact with. 

The opposition we received before and after the first vision was a testament to me that this is as real as something you can see. Nothing would happen while we would recite it, but before and after the CRAZIEST things would happen to break their attention, and to distract them from the Spirit: a strong leash on a small dog BREAKS, people would come outside with drugs and start yelling at us, they'd ask us to stop RIGHT BEFORE we would say the words "I saw a pillar of light," I could go on... It gave me chills every time. We would ask them to tell us what they saw as they looked at the picture in the Restoration pamphlet, then we'd expound, and testify of basic truths of the Gospel. 

THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS BE OPPOSED. 

THIS RESTORATION PAMPHLET WILL EXPLAIN WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING

SMR is what they call the teaching method we've been taught - that's short for SEVEN MINUTE RESTORATION. We are blasting everyone with the Restoration pamphlets, and I've never seen so many open hearts and opposition. The trick is to follow the example used in 1 Nephi 11 when the Spirit is teaching Nephi. He says "LOOK!" then he establishes Nephi's understanding, expounds by explaining what he doesn't understand, then testifying. We start by asking people what they see when they look at the picture of Jesus holding the lamb. From that we already have their religious background and their relationship with Christ. We expound, testify, teach GOD IS OUR LOVING HEAVENLY FATHER, then move to the next picture and do the SAME thing, testifying in basic statements of truth that families are eternal, and that the Gospel was created for the family, and that the Gospel indeed blesses families... We then get to the first vision and ask them what they see, it is amazing. I have given the first vision more this week than my whole mission combined. What comes out of our mouths is NOT our own voice, rather a voice of power, it is the voice of the Spirit. I have seen it in Sister Collins and feel it myself. It's humbling to know that we get to be their for the first time they hear about the Restoration. It's humbling to be a vessel of the Lord. What a sacred privilege it is to be a missionary. I never want it to end.

This is His work, because He is doing this, not me. As I type these words I feel the burning within my chest that He is closer than I could even imagine, and is more involved in this than I could realize at this moment. Now I see why the Nephites desired the Holy Ghost above all else, and that when Christ prayed, He thanked His Father that they now had that with them. It is truly amazing how the Spirit confirms to you, just as it does to your investigators/every one you see, that this is true. I am so grateful. The realization of the power of my call is coming to light, this is a sacred calling.

We have potentials that are ready, hopefully they'll progress in the Gospel. Another miracle, almost all of our potentials are FAMILIES! 

We are working with the Jeffords family tonight to help them share what they know.

Miracle story from this: LUCAS. We are at his front door and give the SMR lesson. We ask him if we could come back, he tells us that he just lost a family member and that he has a one year old son. Ether him, or his wife are working at any given moment. He wants us to come back. We are visiting him this week. 

We had dinner with the Stokers at the mission home last night. I love just being able to go over there and be with the Stokers. Also, I thought I was going to starve to DEATH and an invite to dinner was literally an answer to prayer. 

Something sad, we had 5-6 missionaries ether go home or were sent home in the past 10 days. Today they held an emergency transfer MEETING because of it. I think a lot of it is the opposition we are receiving with this new way of teaching. Satan knows how powerful it is. 

Interviews with the President were this past week. I had NOTHING to talk with President about, I was dry of ideas. I asked him how he studied the scriptures and we took that time to study together. This time reading through the Book of Mormon I want to find PRINCIPLES to apply to my life. President showed me how he did it and I've been doing it ever since. Part of me feels like I've been flooded with enough spiritual knowledge to understand the purpose behind everything. I cannot believe all the things I am learning! One scripture lead to another, and I tore it apart on paper and came to the conclusion of the most basic principles of our Gospel: OUR PURPOSE AS MISSIONARIES. It is what we teach, we teach people how to become all that God is using the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the recipe to become like Christ. 

On my year mark we went and held puppies at the pet store. I just needed to hold one.

Teaching Sean by the Merrimack River! Sean is progressing towards his date! He quit everything yesterday and is up for the challenge! We should have a baptism on June 22!





Helping Hands project at the Valley Cemetery





Sista Collins:)

June 2, 2014 PICTURES

20 scoops of Ben and Jerry's ice cream - THE VERMONSTER

Memorial - June 2, 2014

My heart is full. I feel like Nephi when he testifies to his brothers that the Lord is mightier than the earth, then why not mightier than the adversary? He gives us strength to go forward and DO his work! I believe the glass half full attitude Nephi had was due to a full heart, a heart of gratitude for recognizing the hand of the Lord. That carried him throughout his life; he successfully endured to the end. Also, Nephi had an open mind. If we have an optimistic outlook, then the Lord can use us as HIS tool. He cannot work through an already decided mind. If you decide that the person at the door you are knocking will not accept the Gospel, then sure enough they won't. Your faith begins in the small thoughts that run across your mind. It all starts in the mind, and the mind is SO powerful! If we focus on gratitude, and are seeing the hand of the Lord constantly, like Nephi, you fulfill your baptismal covenant (coupled with keeping the commandments) and you are PROMISED THE SPIRIT TO BE WITH YOU.

Interesting: the Hebrew translation of endure means to become anointed. Ponder it. It gives me goosebumps!

I'm always in AWE when I finish the Book of Mormon. Words cannot describe the feelings I had as I closed the book. I cannot describe how strong the spirit was. I want all of you to feel the way I did, and DO feel. My heart is full. Please, read. I am grounded in this Gospel and cannot move. 

Another thing about the Book of Mormon that I love is the dying testimonies of men who have ENDURED, and the things they write to their posterity (that they might know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins, and might I add, HOPE). Mormon to Moroni was about HOPE. Alma to his sons was about their purpose. Nephi to his posterity was about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the straight and narrow gait. I hope to be able to live like they do, continually PRESSING (exerting effort against an opposing force) forward, FEASTING upon the words of Christ.

When I say my heart is full, a funny thing happens, the depth of my heart extends to make space for more joy, more love, more faith, meekness, temperance, goodness... the fruits of the spirit. 

Last Monday we ended up getting 12 people up to the Joseph Smith Memorial:

From left to right: JoAnne, Sister Rufty, Brother Young, Sister Young, Sean, Gene (RC from the elders), US! Bottom row is the Estes family (a PMF we are teaching and seeing some miracles happen).

We had someone come and speak to our mission at the leadership meeting, and hearing what he said from others was amazing and has helped me to realize why our mission is the way it is: THIS IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF THE RESTORATION. JOSEPH SMITH'S ANCESTORS WERE HERE, AND MANY PEOPLE IN OUR MISSION ARE RELATED TO JOSEPH SMITH. Satan works HARD against these 7th generation New Englanders because they are related to him! They will come to know of the Gospel, and it is by us that they will know.

Sean, how I worry!! We'll see how everything goes this week... but he's gotta be keeping all the commandments with a repentant heart by this Sunday or we'll have to move his date, which he does NOT want to do. I will not baptize someone if they are not ready, I will NOT do that.

We wrote out 7 miracles we wanted to happen this week. For Kathy and Karen, our nonreligious neighbors, we asked if THEY COULD ASK US TO TEACH THEM. Our part was to keep every other day contact with them. Sure enough, Kathy comes down and tells us all about this book she is reading about some crazy pack between Lincoln and Joseph Smith. The author was well researched, she knew all the "mormon" terms! She had great questions! She asked that when she was done if we could come over and answer them! The Lord is workin' beside us, as He always has.

Another miracle we've been working for is with the Jefford family - that they would have a significant missionary experience. They're the only family in our boundaries that is active, so you bet we've been working with them! We've taught two FHE and played a ton of missionary games, real played, and studied PMG. Sunday Sister Jeffords came up to us and told us that they have found a FAMILY FOR US TO TEACH!!! Our commitment to them was just to invite someone over to their house for dinner within a month, with or without us. Sure enough, they kept their commitment and the Lord placed a family in their paths! They're going to have them over for dinner then have us over. Hopefully it goes well, if not, you probably won't be hearing about it ha!

Gigi's lesson was sweet this week... We were bold. I asked her (after teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ and her saying that she'd already been baptized....) if she was 100% THAT HER BAPTISM WAS VALID. She hesitated and said no, then she caught herself and tried to save what she had already said. She is not going to get on her knees and PRAY to know if the Book of Mormon is true (which she already says is, what's holding her from baptism? We'll find out...) and then to be baptized. Hopefully a miracle will happen there, I'm expecting one. 

Side note, I am lost without weekly planning. We haven't had time to really plan this week and I feel like I am running around with my head chopped off. No more of this. 

DO IT UNTIL IT'S DONE. WORK UNTIL YOU CAN'T WALK. RUN RUN RUN!!!

We saw the baptism of a family this week. So sacred. So wonderful. They had me give one of the talks and I couldn't contain the Spirit I felt. It was carrying me like never before!

YOUSHOULDR​EALLYREADT​HEBOOKOFMO​RMON - May 19, 2014

I am exhausted. I don't know how I keep moving with the energy I do. I have excitement and passion, still. It's the Lord. Truly, He is the one keeping me going..

Faith is the moving cause of all action. I learned about desire. We can say, "I wish I could play the piano like you." But do we really? Do we really have faith that miracles can happen on missions? If you really wished to play the piano you'd learn it. You would practice, and lead up to your goals.

What happens when we combine with the powers of heaven to accomplish our goals? How do we do this?

Reflecting upon the scripture in D&C 4 to serve the Lord with ALL your heart, might, mind, and strength, I wondered why He said each of those, and nothing more, or less.

I left my notes at home so bear with me! ... I don't feel like it's coming together. This is just a lesson to me that I have to internalize things before I try to write about them, or teach them to someone. Ha!

We had Elder Perkins of the Seventy come and speak to us at stake conference. He pulled an amazing scripture on us, a revelation for our day! Moses 7:62. He tore it apart. He chastised the members with so much love, I was amazed. He told them "the brethren say that the members JUST AREN'T GETTING IT!" He went OFF about how this is the hastening of the work, so lefts hasten. Don't just "come and see, come and BE."

We were in need of a few miracles this week. We fasted for Patty to have real intent while reading the Book of Mormon. We took Sister Stoker with us and had an absolutely POWERFUL lesson. She is changed. What used to be taking the lessons because of her ignorance, became a real desire to know for herself what truth is. She opened up about how she thinks her religion has been corrupt for the past 60 years, and that people believe in what Holland calls, "a comfortable Jesus." She believe there is ONE way, in an absolute truth. ONE LORD, ONE BAPTISM. She was totally denouncing her religion by the end of that, which was neat because she saw truth in the Book of Mormon. She was teary when we read through 3 Nephi. HOW can you deny the Spirit that is in that book!? YOU CANNOT. When we use the Book of Mormon how it is meant to be used, with power, the Lord WILL NOT fail us. He does not forsake us when we throw everything on the line (even when it seems like we have been forsaken). There is purpose behind what we do, and how we use the Book of Mormon.

My testimony of the Book of Mormon is so set there is not a word to describe its permanence. IT IS TRUE AND I CANNOT DENY THAT. When others feel that, they can't either. It has power and power is what I have seen this week. I have seen power from heaven, poured upon those we come in contact with. Whether you consider Patty's intents changing a miracle or not, a mighty miracle has taken place. She IS ASKING GOD. She HAS been prepared. There are events that she told us that lead up to us teaching her. This is not the end of Patty's journey through the Restoration. She is taking a class through her church to become a better missionary, she asked us HOW WE DO IT. How we can do this at such a young age and do it well! The only answer is the Spirit. We cited our authority. There is no other way the Gospel could move forward without the help of God. We do not do this alone. The work goes forth as A STONE CUT WITHOUT HANDS, meaning that the Lord is able to do His own work. She's going into her class with questions and is asking the Lord for help. She is connecting with Him through prayer, and I have no doubt that the Lord will continue to work on her. She agreed to read the Book of Mormon and pray about it, with real intent. Moroni's given us the promise, we just have to do it!

A few weeks back, Elder Sowby and Elder Warned were dropped by a lady who was ready to be baptized, so prepared for the Gospel. She received a lot of anti and felt like she'd been blind-sighted due to the history of the church. We walked over there yesterday and talked to her. Praying that she'd even let us in. Oh she let us in, and the Lord answered our pleading prayers as the Spirit spoke through us and penetrated her heart. A miracle happened. She told us to tell the elders to call her today. This is what happens when the powers of heaven guide you! We walked over to the elders apartment to tell them what had just happened and to call her and set up an appointment. Their faces were the best part of my week. Gratitude from the insides of their SOUL came flooding through them. They love the people they teach, and you could tell just by their reaction. Great moment. When they were in a trio, the lady called them her "three wise men." TOO CUTE.

Sean is doing great. He actually expressed something that came to his mind during stake conference that was an answer to our prayers! He is looking into a different job. We'll see how far this goes, I REALLY HOPE it goes through. He's praying more. He's reading so much he sounds like he's been a member of the church for a little while! He has owned gospel vocabulary. I love when that happens.

Stake conference was one of the greatest moments, I got to meet up with all the members from Hanover and THAT WAS SUCH A BLESSING. To see them and feel their love was priceless. My heart is so full.

To all of you, if you do not read from the Book of Mormon daily you are MISSING OUT ON GODLY KNOWLEDGE. If you want to be as He is, it would be wise to start reading from it's pages daily. Helaman 15:7 When you read the scriptures you are lead to faith and repentance. If you are stuck where you are, read, you will progress. I promise.

Keep smiling!

Love,
Sister Morgan

Lunch with Sister Stoker, Skidmore, and Pettingill

Seeing Ab and Megan again... Almost in tears. How I love these two! Crazy that Ab has already done a year of college and is heading out on a mission... I got to Hanvoer when she graduated high school. Freaks me out!

We fixed my hair... TERRIFYING.

RUN RUN RUN - May 12, 2014

A mission is such a short time, with immense amount of growth occurring in the lives of each missionary. I only hope to progress like this the rest of my life. I know that when we serve with a willing heart, our souls are enlarged. Our hearts open to feel more. I have seen Satan work - his tactic is to stop the person from feeling. Feeling love, hope, and peace are all gifts that come from God. They call them the "fruits of the Spirit." When we serve the Lord, the gateway to these feelings opens. I believe that's why God knows everything, because He feels everything. He knows joy, because He knows pain and bitterness. I believe the hardest and most painful experiences our Father in Heaven had were the rebellion prior to the existence of earth, and when He allowed justice to suffer upon Christ. He knows the joy that comes when we overcome the world. How neat that He has given every soul a set of commandments, and a Gospel, that insures happiness eternally. A wise man once said, "blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." To become like the Savior, which we are commanded to do, we must exert mercy. The beatitudes are characteristics of celestial beings. They are our potential. I am grateful for a path home. I am grateful that the dark, heavy veil is becoming sheer. The brother of Jared saw Christ because of his faith, I wonder if we had faith like that if we'd be able to see all that the Lord is doing here on earth. When the veil is removed from our eyes, we will be shocked to see how the hand of the Lord was working in every part of our lives.

I learned interesting doctrine this morning while reading Ether 2 and 3. If you notice, the Lord answers the first question the BOJ (Brother of Jared) asked about the air in the barges, then the Lord answers him. He then asks what the Lord would have him do about the light in the barges. The Lord responds with a question. I give it as my opinion that the BOJ was prompted to refer to the scriptures. In Genesis 6:16, footnote a, we have the answer. The Lord didn't give him an answer because He had already answered the question when Noah was building the ark. If we ask the lord a question, and get more questions as a result, we should then turn to the scriptures with that question. That is a pattern in the scriptures. Joseph Smith used that same pattern! How interconnected prayer and scriptures are! 

Another interesting thing is how did Christ show the BOJ His finger if this was prior to His birth? In Either 3:6 it says "LIKE unto flesh and blood." Our Spirits look like our bodies. 

Also notice, the light Christ's touch brings to the stones. Whatever Jesus lays His hands upon LIVES. Becomes LIGHT. Truly He is the LIGHT of the world!

Back to missionary work... GOOD WEEK.

I can't remember if I told y'all about that time we prayed for a miracle to happen at Patty's lesson, then he landscaper was outside. Well, we got talking with him... gave him our number. He gave us his, with hesitance. We called him this last week... while talking on the phone I wondered how we would invite ourselves over to give him a lesson. As soon as I prayed for guidance, Sean said, "I talked to my wife about you two. We're open to this whole Mormon thing. We were wondering when you could come over so we could learn more."

MY JAW DROPPED. I flipped open my planner and we made an appointment for this Tuesday at 4. Hoping for the best. Wondering if he is the reason why were are teaching Patty! Only sad part is, he isn't in our area.... BUT WE GOT PERMISSION TO TEACH HIM.

The assistant's potential investigator wanted us to teach her. So now we are! Her name is Leah!!! We were at the store and she told us she wants us to come teach her... AWESOME.

We were contacting a less active and a man named Jose answered the door. We asked him a lot of questions about his relationship with God. We have a return appointment and hope to see him tonight. 

NO BIGGIE. SEAN IS GETTING BAPTIZED ON JUNE 22, 2014. Mark it on your calenders. We showed him all we had to teach him still, and agreed to meet three times a week to prepare him for baptism. We've got a lot to do!

So things are picking up a LOT! Our schedules are packed this week with service and appointments. Crazy, because we've been drowning trying to find people to teach!

Sister Collins are I are tight like a good pair of jeans. I adore her. She is growing so much. it's so fun to be on this side, to see her confidence grow as I sort-of force her to taking the lead in things! She has risen to the call and is RUNNING! WHOOHOO!!!

JoAnne is doing GREAT in temple prep. I get jittery every time I think that we'll be able to take her through the Boston temple!!

Tryin'a think what else happened this week... So much happens it's hard to write it down, then when I get to the computer my mind erases the memories!

MOTHER'S DAY. Yes. That was yesterday. We walked to Skype in the burning sun (not excited for summer, can we just stay in spring or fall??), then went to dinner with Ruth and the Keplinger's and gave Ruth some new member lessons! 

We taught Ruth about MIRACLES the other week, and how to expect them. We gave her a little Target journal ($1, I LOVE HAVING A TARGET IN MY AREA) and told her to write down things she is grateful for before she goes to bed. I adore that woman!

A little note about miracles: they are a form of WORK. Just like faith is work, prayer is work, and miracles are definitely WORK. Do we ever stop working...? That term "I'll sleep when I'm dead" is false. We will always be laboring. THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED LABORING IN THE VINEYARD. IT IS LABOR - EXHAUSTING, SWEATY, HARD LABOR. "Run! Run! Run!" as mom always says!

I got a heinous haircut this morning and kinda look like I have a mullet... 

Aight. I think that's it... Love y'all! WRITE ME PLEASE! 

This happened today!

Robots - May 5, 2014

THOUGHTS:

Some weeks I just can't help but turn heavenward and ask God why there are so many wicked people in Manchester.

I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon. Whatever questions I come up with and try to muscle through, I know that this is the Church of Jesus Christ simply because of the Book of Mormon.

Make it a goal to remove yourself from conversation, action, and even thought, and you will learn how to REALLY serve.

This isn't about me at all.

If you want specific answers to your prayers, you need to be specific. 

We are moving apartments, hopefully. Sister Collins and I CANNOT take the abuse next door. Sunday we walked over to one of the members to study, for the first time in months I could hear myself think. Just goes to show that the Spirit can work through you, not always your environment. A home must be a "safe haven from the world."

On a more positive note: MARIA AND KAITANA ARE GETTING BAPTIZED IN HANOVER. If any of you remember Maria, she was the cute Irish woman, DEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP Catholic upbringing. I've never met anyone who has showed her love for people more than Maria. I am so happy for her. So happy that Sister Turley gets to see people being baptized!!

Speaking of baptism...... SEAN HAS AGREED TO BE BAPTIZED. SEAN. We have permission from President Stoker to go through with it, he doesn't have to quit his job. We drew a triangle with us, him and Heavenly Father on each of the points. We circled the connection between Him and God and told him that this is what everything is all about - building the connection between him and his Father in Heaven. We're still working on a specific date, but we are SO EXCITED.

Hopefully this week we'll have time to get around to the potential pool we've gathered. We may have some exciting news next week!!

Study revelation:

I've read Alma 7:13 probably around 500 times. NEVER BEFORE had I caught the doctrine in the beginning of the chapter! The SPIRIT could have told Christ all that we go through, but He experienced it IN THE FLESH. It's the difference between knowing what a person is experiencing during a heart attack and knowing the symptoms verses actually having the heart attack. It is necessary for Him to have experienced what He did, if not justice would have a hold on all of us. My mind wrapped around the Atonement in a different way.