Part of my LTP:
"We are in the Lord's vineyard. Sometimes we are called to pick fruit, other times we are called to have our branches pruned." I have realized that, though I may not be patient with it. A quote that summarizes what the Lord wants me to learn is found at the end of chapter 4 in PMG: “You cannot force spiritual things. Such words as compel, coerce, constrain, pressure, demand, do not describe our privileges with the Spirit. You can no more force the Spirit to respond than you can force a bean to sprout, or an egg to hatch before its time. You can create a climate to foster growth, nourish, and protect; but you cannot force or compel: you must await the growth.” I am exhausted. I am doing ALL I CAN to work mighty miracles in this area. Often times I feel like I've tried everything, I've done everything I know how in this here. I have GROWN here. I pray to the Lord with specific questions and listen, then I wonder after no answer, "where art thou?" Sister Collins read an article that was in response to my PLEADING prayers for the Lord to acknowledge my faith. In the August Ensign 2013 there's an article about what to do when there is no response: you consider it a trust, that the Lord trusts you enough to move forward into the darkness. I want the path to be illuminated before my face, but that's not the way faith works. Moroni tells us that we receive NO WITNESS UNTIL AFTER THE TRIAL OF OUR FAITH. I am learning and relearning that in way I couldn't ever imagine. We dropped all our investigators, they weren't "hearkening" I guess you could call it. We are building this area on THE ROCK, and when you build on rocks, it takes a lot longer.
*words*
I don't think I've ever been more bold in my life. Having strong opinions can be difficult when people oppose them. You want to defend them and prove them to those persecuting you. WE MUST BE MEEK. People are so pleasant until you bring up religion, then they just drop you like a fragile glass vase. KEEP YOUR PIECES TOGETHER.
We fast for three baptisms on July 20th. We're working for them. We told Bishop to be ready, and to hold us accountable. We have to find those people who are ready, and the more people we talk to, the closer we get to finding them. So much of my struggle is just remembering where the Lord has been this whole time. I am slow to remember Him. I try not to compare experiences, but it's hard when I've seen the Lord just DROP prepared people in my lap and helped me so much! HE PRACTICALLY HELD MY HAND. He's really trusting me to just GO FOR IT. Heavenly Father and I have some interesting discussions about what His will is, vs. mine. *humble myself*
We did see a miracle from our efforts. Tolby. We tract into her. She is a mom to two little kids, in her early 30's, and married. That woman works like a DOG! She was busy, but we scheduled a time to come back. When we came back she pulled us into her home and showed us two pictures of Jesus (pass along cards) taped on the back of her door. Halfway through our conversation I said "maybe we're an answer to your prayers." She replied "yes" with glassy eyes. She discussed eagerly the Restoration with us. That was a spiritual lesson. One of the most feel-good lessons I've had. It was WONDERFUL. She's reading the Book of Mormon and praying to know. We stopped by again yesterday and had a prayer, she didn't have time for a lesson, but WANTED to pray with us. She's great. I am eager to teach a young family! Hopefully next time we meet we can lay down more of the expectations of our visits to have more solid contact.
Something that's helped me throughout my mission is to write down blessings we see each day before we start planning for the next day. We sit down and come up with 3-5 blessings, or times when we've seen the Lord's hand. It's helped me keep a positive attitude.
9:30 comes and I feel like I've just completed a state swimming race or a half marathon. The only thing physical that we do is walk, yet I am more tired than I have ever been from anything I have ever done. I am not saying this to complain, but just to update you on how I feel. I feel EXHAUSTED on every end. I don't know how I keep going, honestly. I just do it. I have do. I want to. I do it because there is no better way to do it than the way we are asked, I know because I have seen others try to do it differently. It doesn't work when you aren't obedient.
What else is new...
It's wicked hot.
Next week I might have a transfer call to talk more about. I'm trying not to stress out about it. It's a sad thing I don't like to think about.
Sean is officially passed over to the Bedford elders. He kept his commitment and biked ALL THE WAY TO CHURCH. I was so happy!
Atonement insight I was thinkin' about this week: why did Christ need to be the literal Son of God? Why did He need a mortal mother? The power He had from His Father was that He could will His own death. He had to choose when to die, how else could He have suffered the pains, sicknesses, temptations, and infirmities of the world?
The Book of Mormon is the patriarchal blessing of America. Yeah. Talk to me about it later. I'll give you the details then.
I challenge EACH OF YOU to share your testimony with someone who isn't a member this week. Just a simple declaration of what you believe. #doit
If anyone needs something to pray for, pray that the people in your area will have softer hearts so that YOU will be able to share the Gospel with them and help the missionaries in your ward.
Sorry, this week I'll try to get photos of something exciting ha! We just walk and talk, study, eat, sleep, repeat.
This was not using the zoom. Exciting stuff.
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