S I S T E R M O R G A N: The Middle

I want to work this hard and diligently in everything I do for the rest of my life. I find that if I don't feel like a chicken running with its head cut off, I'm not doing the work to the most of my abilities. It takes everything you have, including your heart and affection. Nothing happens unless you give it ALL. The politics to missionary work fascinate me. Understanding how revelation works, and how I can use it for others and myself has changed my life.

I had the neat experience of going to the temple, as y'all know. I've been studying father-son relationships in the scriptures, particularly Alma and his sons. My testimony came as I was reading a few years ago in Alma 38:4-5. I knew that God could hear me at that point, I understood how I could use the Atonement to forgive and be forgiven. Alma 36-42 have very special meaning to me. I feel like I've never received so many answers, or asked so many questions, as I have in those verses.

Quote of the week while reading Beauty for Ashes by Bruce C Hafen and Alma 42: "The Savior asks for our repentance not merely in compensation to Him for paying our debts to justice but also as a way of inducing us to undergo the process of development that will make our divine nature, giving us the capacity to live the celestial law."

Think on that one for an hour. Study law. Study forgiveness. Study justice and mercy. I wondered, why couldn't God just atone for our sins? God can't go against His law of Justice.

When we arrive at the judgment bar we will receive everything we have ever wanted. What will the desires of our hearts be? We will "follow after [our] own will" (Alma 42:7). Just think on that for a while, let it gnaw at your brain while walking around all day. In the Fall, Adam and Eve wanted to be like the gods knowing good from evil, they followed it. They will receive what they want according to the desires of their hearts.

I find answers to questions in the scriptures. I don't know what I would be without them, my knowledge wouldn't take me anywhere. They also teach me how to apply all I've learned!

Sometimes I get REALLY OVERWHELMED because I have adapted the notion that nothing short of perfect is acceptable. I compared myself to the greatest of all teachers. You will always fall short, and if you want perfection, it's not going to happen! The world cannot be controlled. We are NOT perfect. SOOO I am now comparing myself to myself. What can I do to improve? The only opinion that matters is God's and my own. So why compare myself to anyone else. Heavenly Father knows I am doing my best, giving it my all, so why worry? If other people were to treat me the way I treat myself, we would not be friends for long. I need to develop a nicer relationship, if that makes sense. I can run myself down to the ground. I've got to be better about recognizing the Lord's hand, and how He's helped me stay ABOVE THE WATER.. even if I'm treading, I'm, still not drowning.

Y'all are just getting an insight into my BRAIN!

MIRACLES this week have been fantastic. Through all of this, as I have prayed to be able to feel more and think less (the natural man lives in the mind, the Lord speaks to our hearts), as a blunt way of putting it, the Lord has used me as His messenger. I love teaching the Plan of Salvation. The last Plan of Salvation lesson I had was with Creed in Hanover, then before that Rob, and before that Kaitana. I love teaching this. I have a love for watching people's understanding of their purpose in life show on their faces! They're reactions! Kalisa stood up and said "do you know... uh halleluiah, what it means?" "Yes we do!" "Well halleluiah!" (can I just say that I love the French-English barrier, makes me smile!)

We were teaching Kalisa (late 30's??) while his friend Oliver (20's??) was over. We invited him to join, but he sat in the kitchen. As time went on, he scooted one chair over... then another... then he was standing against the wall... pretty soon he walked over and said "now this interests me, what are we talking about?" Everyone has a desire to know about the Plan of Salvation! It is AMAZING. Oliver is now Kalisa's roommate, they're both from Rwanda. This week we are going to teach them the Restoration and hopefully set dates for them! SO EXCITING!!!

JoAnne is considered ACTIVE. No biggie she's a SPIRITUAL GIANT!!!!

Tonight we are headed over to one of the less active part member families in the ward with an appointment to teach the wife! Wish us luck! We are going to show her Earthly Father Heavenly Father (my favorite Mormon Message, WATCH IT NOW )

The most spiritual and wonderful comp inventory ever last night. Truly, your companion becomes what you think of her. I think she's AWESOME, and she is! She's always willing to change to become more obedient, or to work harder. She's very patient with me as I make tons of lists (she doesn't like lists, something I have learned the fullness of on my mission). I love her so much. We will be friends forever.

PS I'm 9 months out, 9 months to go.